Breakfast Cream

My older brother Robert and I often had fun with digital equipment. The first clip is a song we did when we were teenagers, spoofing the rap genre. The second is him taking it to the next level. It was even broadcast on the radio, on a call in show where he had the title "Farting Rob". Beware, they are flatulence themed and laden, not for the faint of stomach!

Picture of a Duck

He WILL be Gay

"Don't tell me you have a swimmers body...Shelly Winters had one in the "Poseidon Adventure!" peej111

"A "Bisexual man" is just a "GAY man" with a learners permit" valkyr914

"Monogamy is not the movie Diana Ross starred in." sfjay

"Insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting different results." SagiScorPiscean

"Sometimes it needs to rain so you can see the rainbow." mickey16y

" Don't Think Of This As Goodbye, Only An Intermission Until Next Time" befree2003

"Everyone wants the perfect boyfriend, but, nobody wants to BE the perfect boyfriend...what's that all about?" pozhunkny1960

"Well maybe if you were less boring, I'd be less of an asshole." revolushen78

"Understatement goes a long way" Constntcraving

"Who, exactly, was the first person that decided to walk up to a cow, and say "I'm going to pull on these dangly things, and drink whatever comes out"?" Panicdream

"Women & children first; they'll cushion the fall." Msclhard

"If I promise to blow your mind, would you promise to not think in my mouth?" Stevi125

"Profiles are like horoscopes, ok to read them but dont take them too seriously" Takeachanceonit

"Does not matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home" Awa1961

"Beauty is skin deep but ugly goes to the bone." Bigkidyid

"Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel." Znewyork914

"It is far better to have loved and lost than to stay with that psycho any longer" Studboy203

"Stick ur nose in my ass pinocchio and lie to me" JUNIOR914

"A lot of people in this world were born on third base and expect to be treated like they hit a triple" Skywardguy

"The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." ~ Lynn Lavner

"How the f*ck did I end up on the buddy list of every troll in westchester" ynkrs10704

"WELCOME.. from the heart of my bottom." trymmmmenow

"Ma'am, why r u trying to get in my pants? I already have one asshole down there" jjsmooth55

"If we hit it off we will have sex eventually - if we don't we will have it sooner." vox136

"Confucious says - Take many nails to make a crib, but only one screw to fill it!"

"Some people say I am ignorant and apathetic....but I don't know what they talking about, and I don't care" Monster411

"In my next life I wanna come back as a hand of a lonely truck driver". tallshooternyc

"Stand for something or you will fall for anything." truepowerbottom

"If you are what you eat, you could be me in the morning." topman3481

"If he got any more stupid, we'd need to water him twice a week." scaryjello

"Blow jobs and hand jobs are great,but please no nutjobs" lowerwestch

"The Bronx use to be Bronck - The family owned the entire area thats how it became to be known as "The Bronx" - back in the day people use to say they were going to the Bronck's estate - But in Dutch they drop the cks and make it an X." bxcubs337

"Going to bed with some one is nice, but waking up with some one is even nicer." tuyyo26

"I installed a skylight in my apartment... The people who live above me are furious!" sailingthehudson

"Neurotics build castles in the sky and psychotics live in them." neostrange

"Sometimes I can't decide whether to get laid or to establish a relationship, .......either way I get screwed." babydriver914

""Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place" - from a play called Lone Star Love Potion" HndsmguyNy

"If guys weren't meant to be sucked, they wouldn't have come with a straw!" strapbuck

" Its not about finding someone to go to bed with, its about finding the right someone to wake up to " MovieManJ

"Are you high, Clarie?" Steel Magnolias

Confucius say: "He who goes to bed with sex on mind wakes up with solution in hand."

"One swallow does not make him my boyfriend" AskAsianAss

" Not having a profile is like sitting at a
bar with a bag over your head !" Coy18

Kindness is the ability to love those who don't deserve it. Ohthat1guy

"Don't love the man you want, and don't want the man you love." OSMACOJI

"The last time I was inside of a woman was the Statue of Liberty" ...Woody Allen NRDiscreetNJB

"Looking for someone online is like trusting the TV weathermen in New York to plan your week:  You never really know how many inches you'll get, or how long it will really last." KewlScreename

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.


2. A day without sunshine is like...night.


3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.


5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.


6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.


7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.


8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.


9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.


10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.


11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.


12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.


13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of  payments.


14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.


15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?


16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.


17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.


18. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.


19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?


20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.


21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?


22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.


23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?


24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.


25. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.


26. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates... it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.